Funny quotes about life

To achieve some thing in life, we need motivation from some thing. Reading the success stories, quotes are the best source of getting motivation. Here are some funny quotes about life that will keep you motivated. You can share these quotes with your friends, relatives and others.

Funny Quotes

• What is the best thing to do when you a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another to drain the water.
• I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
• I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.
• Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in aother city.
• Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
• you know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
• Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
• Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”
• The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

• Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
• Life is funny. If you don’t laugh, you’re in trouble.
• I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
• Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
• I tell you what always catches my eye. Short people with an umbrella.
• Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
• Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
• Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.
• The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
• My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

• You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me.. i’ll train you.
• It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.
• I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.
• You can’t shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond!
• The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
• My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.
• I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitoes find me attractive!
• A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.
• The lion shall lie down with the calf, but the calf won’t get much sleep.
• Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.
• It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them.
• Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.

• Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
• I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.
• When nothing goes right, go left.
• If you read a lot of books, you’re considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well-viewed.
• Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
• Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.
• I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
• It’s better to be a pirate than to join the navy.
• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
• Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.
• My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?
• I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
• My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.

I may look like i’m doing nothing, but in my head i’m quite busy.